Maintaining positive relationships with former bosses and colleagues can pay off big time when they’re called upon to vouch for you. In today’s tough job market, getting—and leveraging—great professional references can be a game-changer.

Career authority Heidi Allison, Managing Director at Allison & Taylor—the U.S.’s oldest professional reference-checking firm—stresses this point:

“Employers notice when former bosses don’t return calls. People fine-tune their resumes and interview skills, but often overlook nurturing professional references.”

Ready to make sure your references work for you—not against you? Follow these updated etiquette rules for 2025:

1. Always Ask Permission First

Reach out to your former boss or colleague before listing them as a reference. Confirm they’re willing and also share a brief update on what you’ve been up to.
Why it matters: This ensures they’re prepared and willing to speak positively when contacted.

2. Communicate When You Share Their Info

Let them know every time you provide their contact info—especially the job context—so they’re not blindsided.
Why it matters: It shows professionalism and keeps them engaged.

3. Thank Them Each Time

Send a brief note or email to say thanks every time they’ve supported you. Even a small gesture—like a coffee invite or e-gift card—can go a long way.
Why it matters: It strengthens goodwill and keeps the relationship active.

4. Keep Your References in the Loop (Even When You Don’t Need Them)

Share milestones—new roles, certifications, awards—or just drop a note during holidays or promotions.
Why it matters: It’s genuine relationship-building, not just “asking for a favor.”

5. Follow Up When You Land the Job

Notify your references when you secure a new position. Thank them again and share your updated contact info.
Why it matters: It provides closure and preserves the connection for future opportunities.

6. Know Who You’re Using—And Why They’re Critical

Not all references hold equal weight. Supervisors or clients who can speak specifically to your impact are most powerful. Research shows up to 20% of candidates get removed from consideration based on reference checks alone.
Hiring managers often rely on references to differentiate between seemingly similar candidates.

7. “Coach” Your References for Authenticity

Andrew Cohan, CEO of Halmos Capital, notes that candidates who prep their references for detailed—and even candid—insights often stand out. He suggests encouraging them to share specifics—not generic praise—to make a stronger, more credible impression.

Extra Insight: Why Professional References Still Matter (2025 Trends)

• More than a formality: References are now part of the core evaluation, offering real insight into how you work with others.
• They validate your application: References help confirm your experience, prevent misrepresentations, and fill in gaps that resumes and interviews can’t address.
• Used by hiring teams—selectively: While not every employer checks references, they’re most common for senior positions or roles with higher stakes.

Quick Reference Cheat Sheet

Step	Action	Why It Matters
1	Ask permission	Ensures willingness and preparation
2	Notify when shared	Keeps them informed and appreciative
3	Express gratitude	Builds goodwill and keeps relationships active
4	Stay in touch	Makes connections genuine and long-term
5	Follow up post-hire	Closes the loop and fosters future support
6	Choose wisely	References can make or break a candidacy
7	Prep your references	Helps them provide rich, credible insights

Final Word

In a job market where applications often feel anonymous, references give you a personal edge. Be intentional, be courteous, and nurture those key relationships over time—they’re one of your most valuable professional assets.